Parenting Thumb Rules
Updated: Jul 6
Once it happened that through some social network; I encountered a person who was frustrated by his daughter's arrogant behaviour; so he asked me," how can I control as well as love my arrogant daughter?" (I suppose his daughter's age was above 16 yrs). I answered him this following parenting thumb rule which I got to know from Indian philosopher Respected Late. Padhurang Shastri Athawle, founder of swadhyay; follower of Krishna and shrimad bhagwad Geeta..Through one of his teachings.
So dear ones, do read it till the end.. it is extremely important.
Frankly speaking, I have little experience to answer this question when asked by that person.. but as I was knowing this and applying in my parenting journey; I instantly answered all his queries and provided him the exact solution.. and guess what!! it worked for him so could it will do for us. Hence, thought of writing this article while giving more detailed insight.
PARENTING is in itself the most beautiful and tough; though the funniest job that comes with a sense of responsibility as well as confusion about the right way of raising our kids. And the best thing is no one knows the perfect way to do it, so do not worry or feel guilty as all that is in our hand is just to do our best and leave the rest.
I must say every parent plays a very crucial role in this process, however due to our personal stuff and space; we sometimes make little mistakes which may give a wrong message to our lovely kids.
So let us know what are the do's and don'ts of parenting
Sadhguru, A great Indian Mystic, says on parenting that..."Do not try to mold a child. First create a joyful and then loving, stable and pleasant atmosphere and this is enough for a child to flourish. Definitely, as parents, you should try to fulfill their necessities and guard them against wrong influences. we should respect them as it is a privilege given to us by GOD and we should be grateful for this. Instead of bossing /Parenting your child.
Raise yourself first instead of raising children."
As parents it is our duty to bring happiness in our kid's life. Teach them lessons which make their life joyful and meaningful. I personally think..these little bundle of joy brings with them a lot of homework and without a doubt its for parents. And thus, In reality, Kids teach us a lot of good qualities that we lacked earlier.
We as parents should be their role models and set examples first, of how to behave and tackle life challenges. If we say something and do something else, they will probably do not listen to us. But as Kids are keen observers they will pick up from our actions and they copy more exaggeratedly. .
To make our kids emotionally stable we have to teach them how to handle their emotions like anxiety, anger, Sadness or disappointment, happiness, excitement and so on. As well as self-development should be taught to them that will serve them whole life.
3 THUMB RULES OF PARENTING:
In ancient Indian scripture, great Chanakya has given thumb rules for parenting that is like this:
Newborn till age 5: Parents should love and nurture their babies..(do not worry you will not spoil your baby's behaviour). At this age they are completely dependent upon us, they just thrive on us.
Its wonderful to know that we are their only reason for smile and happiness.
Infants and toddlers just love to be cuddled, holded, talk with them as much as you can.
Capture all amazing moments as this is the most memorable and beautiful phase of Parenting. Even if the world says you a Psyco... do not bother, anyway peoples are there to comment, judge and whatnot (and in the whole world how are they suppose to be entertained be happy you gave them some topic to chat about).
Ohhh, you must be thinking I am over convincing..but I cannot help but say how can we miss those precious moments watching our baby grow and crossing milestones. Their first smile, first word...okk ok. I stop myself being so elaborate.
Age 6 till 16: Now is the time to teach them discipline and moral values. Scold them when Necessary. Keep eye on them. Do not always give them what they want. Let them handle your NO, NOT ALLOWED for an answer. this is the time you have to teach them good life lessons..you should be strict, firm yet gentle.
Above 16: Just be their friend with whom they will want to share first. They should be excited to come home and spend time with you. With this age group you cannot be strict like above..they will protest more. Put yourself in their shoes. And think from their angle; then react. Trust them and let them do what they want..if you have did your job good they will be definitely on your side..just relax
I suggest to be their friend with whom they can share all their feelings, thoughts, good or bad experiences, their failures, success, even a small issue like fight with friend..or like anything.. how we chat with our dear friends. They should not hesitate to come to you by thought of being judged by you.
But while doing this parents have to truly mold themselves as their friend .They should not be their friend just to know what's the matter and then start scolding and judging them, arguing with them.. the motto is..that your adult child (boy or girl)..should not go outside and find a place where they are comfortable and choose not So good path for them..They should be comfortable and feel relaxed..after having chat with you . And when this really happens..they will seek advise from you..at that time you should give them your opinion and from your experience you should tell them what is good or bad for them.
One thing we should keep in mind..that we do not own our children just because we are there parents. We are just senior to them as we born 25 or 30 years before. Parents are just a medium for there existence. We should be grateful to God that he gave us this opportunity to nurture a life.
Please provide them joyful environment and they will flourish beautifully.
Will come with more on parenting tips..till then